March 19, 2012

Hey Fam-I-Lee,

They tricked me again. Different Zones have the Temple trip different days. My Zone´s day is the 27th. So really I´ve got to wait another week to go to heaven. Heaven in Spanish isn`t as cool as Heaven in English by the way.

     I don`t even look at my Journal anymore. I need to repent before President Eyering finds out. I don`t have much to talk about anyways. Elder Fale is starting to get a little Trunky (Meaning he´s almost home). He doesn`t talk about home that much and we are still working, but the quality of work has gone down. We haven`t found hardly any news. We always visit the same people and the same thing happens... Nothing. And we are spending more and more time with the members. It`s a clear symptom that he subconciously counting down the days. Less than two months by the way. All the members constantly remind him about it. I decided I will tell no one that I am going home, so nobody can make me trunky. I have a hard enough time without home constantly on my mind.

     So aparently a new kind of Dengue is out. I don`t know if I mentioned this before, but aparently This "Fourth Strand" is fatal. If you don`t get immediate treatment you are dead within 24 hours. Not to scare you or anything, but that´s what everyone is talking about and I have to write about something. Don`t worry, I don´t believe them anyways. For 3 reasons.

     1st is because Dengue has killed Paraguayans since it was first formed. Not because it is fatal, but because they are unintelligent and drink homemade "Herbal Remedies" that doesn`t make them better but worse. (They have no idea what they are doing with the "Herbs". The only time you can trust that kind of medicine is when it comes from Chinese people who have perfected the science of herbs centuries ago.) Next they don`t go to the hospital because it cost too much. Instead they go to the free government clinics that do nothing to help you and can even make it worse. They either try to fix it themselves or they don`t do anything about it.

    Reason Number 2. The Paraguayans always overexaggerate. They spread myths, legends, rumors, false information, etc. faster than a speeding bullet. They are so gullible they believe anything they see or hear from any source. The biggest source is the Internet and the news. You can´t trust the Internet and the news will say anything to get you to watch¡ Next source a text message. They formed the message from the Internet source¡ Next source is themselves and what they think... Which they also put on the Internet¡ Do you see what I  mean? I have no reason to be scared.

     For the Third reason I will turn to science. When I had Dengue they took my blood and did tests. Not just the Paraguayans, but the University of Utah has been studying Dengue to help us fight it. After they confirmed I had Dengue the Hna Callan called and said the University of Utah said there were 4 strands of the virus. After you get Dengue you are Forever Immune to the strand that you got and immune to the other 3 for six months. (I calculated that I could get all 4 strands before I come home and be immune to all of them, so that
would make me Super Human. Either that or having all four strands in my blood stream would create a new strand of Super Dengue fusing the four strands into one. Which would you think happen?)
     Did you notice that the reaserchers in Utah had already detected the existence of Four Strands to begin with? So basically the Paraguayans have no Idea what they are talking about. Every time you get Dengue it gets worse, so maybe that`s what`s causing people to die. Not because of a Fourth Strand, but because they Aren`t Cautious with protecting themselves against the Mosquitos.

So I hope you liked todays Edition of "Knowledge is Power"
See you next week! Love,
Elder Zachary James Singson

March 12, 2012

Turns out that they decided to change the temple trip to next Tuesday. So that`s when I`ll be writing you.

I have also been sick this week. It was probably just food poisoning, so nothing serious. I think I ate a bad empanada. I got really familiar with my friend mister toilet again. A couple of times we had to make random bathroom stops. It was strange to discover that some of the more wealthy members had really crappy bathrooms.

I still haven`t written in my Journal. I just don`t know what to write anymore. It only takes three days to break a good habit, but 30 consecutive days to form one. Lets just say I`m always starting over with that one. It`s hard to write when you are always visiting the same people. Whenever we do contacts it seems that nobody is interested and that doesn`t make us very excited to visit them. Even if we do visit them, most of the time we can`t find them. We also can hardly ever find our progressing investigators. ¿Why is it that the people that can progress don`t have time? (Probably because they are the only ones with work and school and are doing something worthwhile in thier lives, but still...this is kinda more important).

I haven`t gotten Dear Elders from you guys in a while, but I think it`s the offices fault. The office told me I had a package 3 weeks ago and I still haven`t gotten it. I paid to get it twice!

I`m doing well, See you next week.
¡Love!
Elder Zachary James Singson

March 5, 2012

Hey you guys!

First thing I´ve got to say is that this Monday we are going to the Temple. ¡YAY¡ That means I will not have Pday on Monday, but on Tuesday. Just so ya know, para que you don´t freak out about me not writing you or anything like that.

Second thing, I still haven´t written in my Journal, so I have nothing to write about, so Instead I will tell you a funny story.

     Once upon a time there was an Elder. This Elder had a dream of being a stunt man. Elder Bowers, an Elder in the firstly mentioned Elder´s District (Who we will now refer to as the Alpha Elder), asked the Alpha Elder "What makes you think you can be a Stunt Man".

     Taken aback by this ridiculous question the Alpha Elder responded "I am a 1st Dan (Black Belt) in Taekwondo, and besides I can`t imagine myself in a boring office for the rest of my life"

     Curious Elder Bowers questioned "How do you know that you can make it as a stunt man?"

     Alpha Elder replied saying "Apart from my Indomitable Spirit and Unbreakable Determination I am qualified with my super not dying abilities."

     "How So?" asked the Bowers of the calling Elder.

     "I know how to break fall, basically I can fall without Injuring myself", responded Alpha Elder with a little bragging, "and I can do cool stuff like front flips on the ground."

     "Wow..." Said the Elder Bowers in awe, "Show me".

     "What?" asked the Alpha Elder.

     "Fall on the ground right here!" Said the Elder Bowers with excitement on his face.

     "I`m not going to fall right here!" replied the Alpha Elder taken by surprise, "That would hurt."

     "I thought you said that you could fall without getting hurt!" Said Elder Bowers with a hint of Taunting in his voice.

     "I said I could fall without getting injured, or at least seriously injured. I never said that it didn´t hurt" Shot the Alpha Elder hoping to escape this predicament.

     "I still want to see you do it" responded Elder Bowers.

     And since that day the Elder Bowers sought to make the Alpha Elder do his break fall. But it seemed that the Alpha Elder would not let him have his way... Until one day. A Tuesday to be exact. The very same Tuesday that we were to receive the changes. Many changes were being made (Thus the name Changes). Elder Fale would no longer be the District Leader and constantly receive annoying calls from everybody. Elder Graham was to take his position as DL. Elder Lamb was to babysit the Special (Literally) Elder of the Mission, Elder Padilla. And Elder Bowers was destined to leave that day, But he implored the Alpha Elder to do his fall.

     He said "If you do it I will have no doubt in my mind that you will be a stuntman and when you are famous I will tell everybody `That guy was in my District´." 

     So the Alpha Elder decided to comply with the parting wishes of the Bowers. He walked to the stage (Because he would rather fall on Wood than on Tile). Everybody pulled out their cameras. The Alpha Elder was Hesitant, but he tuck in his head lifted up his leg and fell. Everybody laughed. They asked him to do it again, but the Alpha Elder didn´t like the whiplash the fall gives him, so instead he offered to do a front flip.

     Maybe the front flip wasn´t the best idea ever, but he took of his shoes and just went for it. Not having done a front flip for over a year can make a person nervous by the way. The Alpha Elder Ran, Jumped, and Flipped, but it wasn´t the best throw ever. Barely landing on his feet and then falling to his trasero the Alpha Elder felt the rush of Adrenaline and ignored the pain in the balls of his feet. Looking at the video recording (That everybody watches all the time) the Alpha Elder realized that he had not thrown his arms as hard as he should have and now with this learning experience, and the approval of all the Elders in the district, He is sure that he will land the next one.

The End,

Love Ya!

Alpha Elder Zachary James Singson (It`s kinda like Arch Angel, it`s one step above the best)

February 27, 2012

To all my Fams out there,
It is really hard to come up with new and creative names for the subjects of the emails I send.
Thank you for your cooperation¡

The End

Dear Fams,

I have gotten really lazy about writing in my Journal, so truthfully I have no idea what to write about. Part of the reason I´ve stopped writing is that I hate writing with Pencil in my Journal, even though my handwriting looks better in pencil. So every day I look at my Journal and I´m like "I wait till I buy a Pen tomorrow", then I always forget. I just get so busy worrying about other things. Unfortunately the consequences of my actions will include a shorter email... I blame Micah.

     Anyways I pulled money out for the last time! (Except when I´m going to buy you all souvenirs) I truly dislike wasting money here. I keep thinking `Hey, the members feed us lunch every day right? I can afford to spend money on some of the better things in life´. Unfortunately rich people go on vacation a lot, they are always working, on business related trips, and other reasons that force me to buy more food that I originally anticipated. BUT now we will be budgeting the money and making a plan so we never have to pull out personal money again! Cuz I hate wasting money on a country that doesn´t have anything good to waste it on!¡!

     Some good news, my memory isn´t 100% gone. This Thursday we had a lesson with Marixa and her non member husband Gorge. We also brought a member, Emmanuel, to befriend him and "help us". It was the Hna Castorino´s turn to give us Lunch, she is Marixa´s mom, so instead we traded it for dinner.
Truthfully the lesson wasn`t the best in the world because Manu decided that he should take over the lesson because he thinks that he is so awesome and that Gorge would open up to him and tell him his deepest darkest secrets, but it didn`t work like that. It just made things a little awkward. Fortunately he bore his testimony after giving up and passed the lesson back to us. I talked about the Family and I tied in the restauration and authority while I was at it. I felt the spirit really strongly, so I know that went well. Elder Fale wasn´t sure what to do, so he just talked about the family some more, and then Manu decided to butt in again and talk about the Apostasy.
     I have no idea what was the point of the lesson or what Gorge got out of it, but at least he felt the spirit and that was a good sign. He even gave the closing prayer. Afterwards we all ate. The Hna made noodles of some type and meat. Yay meat! Then she gave us gross pizza and Ice Cream to make up for it. All in all, I think we got him on the right track. Thankfully he has a awesome wife who has him read the book of Mormon with her. Now we just need him to find a desire to know and pray to know. I`m posotive he will get baptized before the end of the change.

¿Guess What? I´m out of things to say, but look how much nonsense I wrote. ¿That makes up for it right?

¡I`m out! Love ya,
Elder Zachary James Singson

February 20, 2012

So I forgot to look at my Journal to see what I did this week, So that means I don`t have anything to write. When a day ends it all goes into that blur called life and I can`t remeber what happened or even when it happened. Some current things are Elder Fale hurt his ankle and his back and is now limping around like a gimp. Also a woman brought her non member husband to church and set up an appointment for us to visit them this thursday. Changes are tomorrow, so we`ll see what happens with that. Love Ya!