March 19, 2012

Hey Fam-I-Lee,

They tricked me again. Different Zones have the Temple trip different days. My Zone´s day is the 27th. So really I´ve got to wait another week to go to heaven. Heaven in Spanish isn`t as cool as Heaven in English by the way.

     I don`t even look at my Journal anymore. I need to repent before President Eyering finds out. I don`t have much to talk about anyways. Elder Fale is starting to get a little Trunky (Meaning he´s almost home). He doesn`t talk about home that much and we are still working, but the quality of work has gone down. We haven`t found hardly any news. We always visit the same people and the same thing happens... Nothing. And we are spending more and more time with the members. It`s a clear symptom that he subconciously counting down the days. Less than two months by the way. All the members constantly remind him about it. I decided I will tell no one that I am going home, so nobody can make me trunky. I have a hard enough time without home constantly on my mind.

     So aparently a new kind of Dengue is out. I don`t know if I mentioned this before, but aparently This "Fourth Strand" is fatal. If you don`t get immediate treatment you are dead within 24 hours. Not to scare you or anything, but that´s what everyone is talking about and I have to write about something. Don`t worry, I don´t believe them anyways. For 3 reasons.

     1st is because Dengue has killed Paraguayans since it was first formed. Not because it is fatal, but because they are unintelligent and drink homemade "Herbal Remedies" that doesn`t make them better but worse. (They have no idea what they are doing with the "Herbs". The only time you can trust that kind of medicine is when it comes from Chinese people who have perfected the science of herbs centuries ago.) Next they don`t go to the hospital because it cost too much. Instead they go to the free government clinics that do nothing to help you and can even make it worse. They either try to fix it themselves or they don`t do anything about it.

    Reason Number 2. The Paraguayans always overexaggerate. They spread myths, legends, rumors, false information, etc. faster than a speeding bullet. They are so gullible they believe anything they see or hear from any source. The biggest source is the Internet and the news. You can´t trust the Internet and the news will say anything to get you to watch¡ Next source a text message. They formed the message from the Internet source¡ Next source is themselves and what they think... Which they also put on the Internet¡ Do you see what I  mean? I have no reason to be scared.

     For the Third reason I will turn to science. When I had Dengue they took my blood and did tests. Not just the Paraguayans, but the University of Utah has been studying Dengue to help us fight it. After they confirmed I had Dengue the Hna Callan called and said the University of Utah said there were 4 strands of the virus. After you get Dengue you are Forever Immune to the strand that you got and immune to the other 3 for six months. (I calculated that I could get all 4 strands before I come home and be immune to all of them, so that
would make me Super Human. Either that or having all four strands in my blood stream would create a new strand of Super Dengue fusing the four strands into one. Which would you think happen?)
     Did you notice that the reaserchers in Utah had already detected the existence of Four Strands to begin with? So basically the Paraguayans have no Idea what they are talking about. Every time you get Dengue it gets worse, so maybe that`s what`s causing people to die. Not because of a Fourth Strand, but because they Aren`t Cautious with protecting themselves against the Mosquitos.

So I hope you liked todays Edition of "Knowledge is Power"
See you next week! Love,
Elder Zachary James Singson